Don't Get Sick

I know we have an excellent healthcare system in this country (which I cannot fault) and we do have an excellent social care system but this is what is going to happen to me:
in about a month's time I am going to run out of sick pay from work. As they have already been paying me Statutory Sick Pay this will end soon too as it is paid by your company in your pay cheque (they claim it back from the Government) and it is only paid for 28 weeks. SSP is paid at £75.40 a week. After that I will qualify for Incapacity Benefit which should be paid to me at the same rate although there is a lower rate which is only £63.75 a week. Once I am on Incapacity Benefit I cannot go back to work, even if I want to because I will still not be able to work a whole week and it would compromise my benefits so I am in The Trap.
This means that I will be earning effectively £3,000 a year. If you add on Ashley's wages (which I think we calculated wrong when I went to the Citizens Advice Bureau) at £13,000 a year then we are exactly on the limit of £16,000 which means we are not eligible for any Housing Benefit or Council Tax Benefit. In fact at the moment if Ash stays at the hospital as a porter we would be better off as we WOULD get benefits because he is being paid pretty much minimum wage. BUT if he gets another job at Sainsbury's then he would be earning too much even though it would still be a low wage job. The system stinks.

It's not our basic living that is a problem but my debt. I have an outstanding loan which has evolved from my student loan from the first time I went to uni and I have two credit cards (no longer in use but need paying off). One of the cards I realised has payment protection insurance so I am sorting that out but the other card and the loan have to be paid somehow. The advice from Citizens Advice is to write and tell them that you can only pay a certain amount per month i.e. £10 a month and ask them to freeze the interest and charges. This is also in hand but I am scared of creditors breaking down my door! Of all the things I am most worried about, money is the main thing. Surgery? No hair? Chemo? Pah! Money money money.

When I trained to be a nurse I left a well paying job in the private sector (financial company) to go back to university for three years. I knew I would not have a lot of money despite the NHS paying me to study. The thing is I could work then. I had the ability to work evenings and weekends, which I did. I worked in the pub for over two years which I loved. It was hard work and sometimes I was working 7 days a week but at least if I needed money I could go out and earn it. Now I am forced in to not working and I hate it. I've pretty much worked since I was 16 when I got my first Saturday job in Forbouys in Downham. (Correction: Jo and I did the News Shopper - free local paper - paper round for a good couple of years when we were about 14-15! I still have nightmares of lugging those papers around!).

Anyway, the situation is what it is and all we can do is make the best of it. MANY people have been EXTREMELY generous and given us monetary donations for which we are VERY grateful. Mostly the money is used on everyday things like groceries but we have managed to have the odd night out at the cinema with a meal out at the noodle house. That's a BIG night out for me now.

It is Tuesday morning and I have had the most fantastic Bank Holiday Weekend! It really started on Thursday when Nicky came over and we had a lovely afternoon together, then Ashley's friend Chris came over and we all had a luverrrly roast pork dinner.
Friday Ashley had a stressful end to the week but we chilled out in the evening and I made healthy fish and chips (baked cod with green beans, herbs and pine nuts and sweet potato chips), we had a glass of wine and watched 'Capote' (good film, bit slow at first but draws you right in and Philip Seymour Hoffman is an incredible actor).
Saturday I went to Down House with my friend Gosia who I haven't seen for ages and we had cream tea at the coffee shop in Downe village. Then Chris was over again and we had a barbecue on the back terrace of the flat (anyone who's been there knows that it is really just the roof of the shop below!).
Sunday we knew we weren't doing anything so it was Spring Clean The Flat day which was immensely satisfying. Then lunch on the terrace, 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' on the TV (classic film) and a relaxed evening and early to bed.
Bank Holiday Monday we woke up early as it was officially the first day that Ashley was on the lease for the flat meaning that for both of us it was the first time we had officially lived with a partner. We had Kir Royale (champagne and cassis) and Eggs Benedict for breakfast and waited (in our very clean flat) for Ashley's dad Andy and his wife Lynn to pick us up as we were going out for the day.
They ended up being late so we had a Bucks Fizz as well!

We spent the day at Hever Castle, childhood home of Anne Boleyn. It is a beautiful Tudor house/castle with extensive grounds and the weather was PERFECT. A warm. hazy summer's day. As it was May Day there were some events happening and we saw King Henry VIII himself! There were several people in costume doing things like archery.
It was a great day, Ash and I provided the picnic (including a bottle of wine but no corkscrew!) and just driving through the Kent countryside was... well those that know what it is like know that at this time of the year, on a sunny day England is just beautiful and Kent is one of the most beautiful places. The wildflowers were all out in the banks and hedgerows, the bluebells are carpeting the woods and the trees are all just coming into leaf and are the most amazing shade of green. I felt really lucky to be able to enjoy it and it reminded me how sad it is to live in a town or a city and miss the seasons. There is nothing like getting out into the countryside to really remind yourself what time of year it is!

I remembered to cover my head all day as last week I managed to sunburn myself a but whilst at the allotment and I have been peeling ever since (not attractive!). I think my arms have got a bit tanned though yay!

It is another beautiful day today, not a cloud in the sky and the forecast for this week is 22-24 degrees all week - huzzah! I'm off to take our new tree down to the allotment at lunch time (£5 apple tree from Wilkinsons - bargain) and then I have an appointment at the Pain Clinic this afternoon about my back. Which is handy as I have woken up today with backache (I think I slept funny).

I dreamed I had hair last night which was very weird! I think that is because I was wishing I had hair yesterday as whenever I see myself in the mirror I look like I have a big moon face. It needs some accessories!

Also I must mention that I went to see the Hypnotherapist last Friday who was great. I think I will write about that later as this has become a VERY long blog and my hands are getting tired from typing.

Have a great day everyone and enjoy the sunshine!

Lots of love

Liz
xxx