Still (d)raining

Hello everyone,

Sorry it's been a while since I blogged. Not a lot has really happened as I have just been at home recovering from the second lot of surgery. I STILL have a drain in although the amount of blood/fluid that is being drained every day is decreasing - just not fast enough for my liking. I cannot WAIT to have this thing taken out. it is uncomfortable and I can't sleep on my right side as I can feel it under my skin - it's difficult to describe but it's like a pressure inside.
Also, it doesn't seem to have stopped raining for AGES!!!

Anyway, on to other news... we have a kitten! Her name is Pandora (nicknames: Pan or Dora the Explorer), she's about 6-7 weeks old, white with tabby patches. Also she's a bit mental!

Update: It's now Monday 14 January. The dreaded drain came out yesterday although I have to admit that it was because I ACCIDENTALLY caught it and it came out! It feels great to have it out and Ash and I went on a hike to Downe village to celebrate. I managed to walk there and back and felt really good (it was about 4.5 miles altogether). We did stop of course for tea and crumpets in the cake shop!

I had two appointments last week, one with the consultant surgeon and one with the Oncologist Dr Harries. Mr Desai said that my tumour had only been a Grade I, of the 9 lymph nodes only 1 was affected so that was removed and none of the blood vessels were affected. Good news all round. He looked at the scars and pronounced that they were healing well. They don't look too bad, when you consider that I have had a breast removed.

My appointment with Dr H wasn't very interesting, he told me that a Grade I in someone so young is unusual as the younger you are the more likely you are to have a more aggressive type of cancer. So that was good news. Trust me to be unusual! In fact I had read (on Wikipedia - the source of all my knowledge!) a list of celebrities that had had breast cancer (including my namesake Betty Ford). It seemed to me when I read it that the people that had had the cancer younger also died younger. That theory was confirmed by Dr H. I hope I don't become one of those statistics.

To be honest I still don't feel as though I am going to die. Even when I was ill with the infection I still just feel groggy. I guess I might change my mind when the chemo kicks in! Yeuch, I am not looking forward to that. I was quite ill on Friday with what I THINK was the virus that's doing the rounds in the UK. The diarrhoea and vomitting one. Ash and I were going over to my brother's flat to watch Star Wars Episode III. When Steve had come over to mine we had only managed the first two films as I was not feeling well (that was just before I was re-admitted to hospital). We got on the train and I didn't feel too good but I thought it was just tiredness. Got off at Penge East and we were walking along and I suddenly had the urge to puke so I did. In someone's garden - hee hee! I called Steve and he just took us straight home. I was sick as a dog for the rest of the night, a little bit wobbly in the morning but after that absolutely fine! Weird.

So, back to the important info. The Oncologist also introduced me to my Chemo Nurse who showed me the cooling caps that they used and the bit of the Chartwell Unit where they do the chemo. Bleugh, I think I'd rather lose my hair than wear those things. For one, they are not AT ALL fashionable and goodness knows, I like hats and some of them even look quite good but these are like helmets with a big coil on the inside that goes all cold and stays cold for 3 HOURS!!!!! I took one look at it and knew immediately that it would give me a migraine. Hmmmm.
At that appointment they also talked to me about having my eggs frozen - basically going through a cycle of IVF. It does involve another operation as they wait for the first day of your period, then you have to inject yourself for two weeks with hormones, then they go in laparoscopically (through your abdomen with a camera) to remove the eggs from your ovaries. NICE! (That was a sarcastic 'nice' by the way!). I don't like hormones anyway. The Pill makes me psychotic and depressed and I am NOT looking forward to this process at all. It's something I am going to do JUST IN CASE. I'm not one of those people who would do anything for a baby but Ash and I have been talking about it and I am seriously thinking about having children (sorry, A CHILD) with him. We'll see what happens. It won't be for a few years anyway, until I am over the whole having cancer thing.

They talked to me about types of chemo too as there are some trials going on at the moment which means that my treatment might not be the traditional way of having chemo. Usually you receive 6 to 8 cycles of treatment which means going into the Chartwell to have chemo drugs injected into you. That happens about every 3 weeks. One of the trials that is happening means that instead of IV (intravenous) drugs you get given the drugs in pill form. And you get them every 2 weeks. This has its benefits because a) you definitely don't lose your hair and b) you get through the chemo quicker. I'm hoping they'll put me on this trial but it is all randomly decided.

I'm off to see Mr D again today to check my wounds and I should have my appointment to the Fertility Clinic at Guys at some point this week too. After that I'm hoping I can get down to Cornwall to visit my mum for a while and take in some of the country and sea air.

All I can say at the moment is that I am feeling MUCH better than I was, I can move around more freely and am starting to feel more like myself. The sun's come out too and I can see blue sky out of my window - that always cheers me up.

Thank you all for your continued support, presents, cards etc. It makes it all easier to bear knowing that there are people out there who care (and who are reading this!). Please feel free to leave any comments, I'd love to hear from you.

Love
Liz
xxx