Back online.....who knows where this will go..but first a MAJOR catch-up of events.

Hello everyone,I have decided I should start blogging again as I have things to say and Ashley is getting bored of me spouting off to him when I get home. About things that he is not interested in. Well, interested to a point let's say. I am going to use my original blog title as I feel that this is just an extension of where I am in life. OK, so here's a quick update from where I left off....My last post was written as I was being discharged from the Oncology service. I wasn't really supposed to be discharged - the stupid doctor that I saw that day is an idiot. I see the oncologists about once every 6 months and just make sure that all is well. I'm part of a clinical study so they take blood for that and ask me questions etc.I have new boobs! This is quite exciting. I have had a total reconstruction of my right breast which was totally removed with my original mastectomy and the left side has been lifted. This means that due to my weight loss (oh yeah, better tell you all about that) that I now have 34D breasts. Not bloody bad! Anyway, yeah, weight loss. Well Mr D referred me to a plastic surgeon at Queen Victoria Hospital in East Grinstead (it's where they pioneered plastic surgery for burns during the Second World War - absolutely lovely hospital). When I saw him he said there was no way that they could do the sort of surgery that they wanted to do (tummy tuck reconstruction) because my BMI was over 40 (I think it was about 42) and that because of this I would definitely end up back in hospital with complications, especially from the tummy wound which I was not happy about. Tummy tuck is in NO WAY an easy option - please everyone take note - the wound stretches from hip to hip. It is HUGE and because of where it is (along the line of your trousers/knickers etc) it is subject to slow healing, coming open, infection etc.I was about 18st7lb at this point. Due to a year of inactivity and illness and because I was on Tamoxifen (hormone medication to stop the cancer from coming back by lowering my oestrogen levels) I was unable to lose weight easily (or at all despite Slimming World and loads of exercise). So I went back to Mr D for something or other and he said to me had I thought about weight loss surgery. Actually he might have mentioned this at work one day. I think I need to catch you up to something else that has happened. Whilst I was off sick Mr D started doing breast surgery in the Day Surgery. That's right. I came back to work (Jan 2009) and every Friday Mr D and his team were there doing lumpectomies and mastectomies (sometimes). It was a bit weird at first. Especially sitting in the coffee room next to the man that had told me I had cancer. It was strange to say the least. But I got to look after these ladies quite a lot and it was a hugely rewarding experience. Many of them came back for little tidying up operations. I was able to look after a friend's mother on more than one occasional and that was lovely. I got to chat with the ladies and share my experiences sometimes, I was able to encourage and reassure when it was hard for them and all in all I really enjoyed it.So we're at work, booking the patients in etc and Mr D suggests weight loss surgery to me. I dismiss it but it stays in the back of my head. Later at an appointment he says do you want me to refer you to the general surgeon to chat about it and I say yes. This means a referral to Mr El-Hasani. He also works in the Day Surgery and I am scared of him. He shouted at me once when I was newly qualified and three of his patients ended up being admitted (through no fault of my own I must say - just bad luck).In about October of 2009 I go to see him and in a very brief but comprehensive clinic appointment he recommends me for a gastic bypass. This is the gold standard he says, a gastric band will not be sufficient for the weight loss you need and may not work.OK I say. I'll go on the waiting list. He said it's about a year. I said that's fine, gives me time to think about it.Myself and Mr D and Mr E-H's Nurse Practitioner, Starlene joked at work about moving me up the waiting list. I was gradually preparing myself emotionally for the op by eating whatever I liked.At the end of January of 2010 I got a phone call to say that my op would be happening on the 4th February 2010 and that I had to start the pre-op diet in a week's time. PANIC!!!!!!!I went in, it all went extremely smoothly, I spent about 4 days in hospital. Came out liquids for two weeks, soft food for two weeks, back to normal food. OK it was in no way that easy. There was: the liver-shrinking two week pre-op diet (the only one I have ever stuck to so religiously because I knew when they did the op that Mr E-H would know whether I had stuck to it or not and I was still scared of him); afterwards there was about 3 days of no food just sips of water and painkillers; then there were the weeks and weeks of vomiting anything if I ate too fast or something too stodgy; there were the diet supplements that I still have to take but liquid iron is the most disgusting thing you can imagine; then there was the dumping. Dumping is when I have too much sugar and I can't absorb it so it stays in my bloodstream. It's like being diabetic (I have it on good authority from an actual diabetic). I feel like poo. I feel sick. I start to sweat. Sometimes I need to sleep. What I need to do is run around and burn some of it off. After that I have a sugar low so I feel very shaky, I can't see properly because my eyes are all wobbly, I need to sleep. If I don't have some sugar I could fit/go into a diabetic coma. I tested my sugar when it was feeling a little bit low once at work - it was 1.3mmol/L. This is bad. It should be between 4mmol/L & 7mmol/L all the time and if I had a patient with a reading of 1.3mmol/L I would be VERY concerned and calling doctors and getting medication etc. Anyway, I feel OK most of the time now.I've just reviewed everything above which I wrote yesterday - wow - it's a lot. There's still so much to update. Er, I think I got as far as explaining why I ended up having bariatric surgery and how well it went. Well it has gone well because within a year I had lost 7st7lb. Not bad! I now weigh 11st which is still a BMI of 25, the top limit for my height but since my weight has levelled out I'm happy, this is obviously where I was supposed to be. And I can fit into a 12-14 (sometimes a 10!!!) and this makes me feel A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. It is so good that I had to spread all the letters out and use CAPS and Bold. I'm not sure Ash is too pleased as there are less wobbly bits for him to squidge but he still manages to find them. I must just mention that one of my best friends, one of my most loyal supporters when I was ill and an all round fabulous person is soon to have a gastric bypass and I can't wait until she is able to feel like I do. Honey, you deserve it and you will be able to reconcile how you feel about how you look with what a wonderful person you are. I hope this helps you to realise how beautiful you already are.I am going to publish this now as I have written loads and I will catch you all up with reconstruction etc as soon as I have a chance to write again.Much loveLizxxx